Calgary Co. – Re: Private Memo

Dear Mr. Swenson,

It it my unfortunate duty to inform you that we’ve decided to reinvent and re-imagine the vision and direction of Calgary Co. The worst part of my job is writing letters such as this.

From its humble beginnings as a small shack at Dunkin’s Mud Pit in Morimont County, West Virginia, to its current home in Morimont County, West Virginia, Calgary Co. has strived to be the leader in vermiculture technology and the advancement of vermiculturists worldwide. For 20 years, Calgary Co.’s main focus has been building upon proven vermiculture techniques to find more efficient and productive techniques of vermiculture. We have strayed from this key goal in recent times. Our once grand road towards vermiculture technique perfection has become chock-full of potholes and detours.

Mr. Calgary has taken responsibility for our change in course. He’s had personal reasons for his recent absences and he’s currently working long hours to steer us in the right direction. But, there was a time he would never have dreamed of:

• Cellulomonas Folia
• Etc.

We have found that there is a weak link in our grand plan. Our recent venture into other ventures has been a drag on the company as a whole. No one person is to blame, these things happen. But it is my unfortunate duty to inform you that we’ll no longer require your services as Director of Cellulomonas Folia studies. The entire unit is being folded and will be reassigned to a new department: Research into Microbiology – Cellulomonas Folia. Please accept my condolences.

We hope this letter finds you well,

Mrs. Jennifer Calgary
Human Resource Manager
Calgary Co.

PS – Please say hello to your lovely wife, Samantha Calgary-Swenson.