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Tales From Suburbia
Copyright © 2009-10
Jonathon P. Brunner
Jonathon P. Brunner
Review: The Gone-Away World, by Nick Harkaway
Disclaimer: I am not a professional critic nor am I a professional writer, I am an amateur at best. I do not intend to make deep analysis as to the quality of the work as I do not finish works I do not “like”. Therefore, consider this review (personal synopsis) highly biased in favor of the work’s positive points. I will attempt to make this as spoiler-free as possible.
If ever a day comes when Earth resembles The Gone-Away World, by Nick Harkaway, count me out. Oh the horrors I would unwittingly bestow. Let’s have a recap, shall we? The protagonist (unnamed) initially sets a scene placed in a post-apocalyptic world, where roughly 2 Billion humans have survived what is being called the Go-Away War. Most of the remaining population huddles close to a large pipe that circumnavigates the planet, which acts as an irrigation system for a chemical Called FOX. The protagonist is part of a band of Mercenary Jacks-of-all-trades that has just been hired for a very important job, conveniently regarding this “FOX”. We’ll get back to that.
Continued…
Categories: Review.
In the Corner of a 6×8
In thirteen years, I’ve never really doubted that I’d get to this point, Mr. Elliott. Another man might have given up. I’m sure there are plenty of men who would have preferred to channel their grief into booze or drugs or whores. But not me, Mr. Elliot. My addiction has always been you.
And like all addicts, I’ve lived with the certainty that if I could just get that fix, everything would be OK. Well, let me tell you sir, I was right. All the pain, all the sleepless nights and all the long hours of work are finally paying off right now, in this six-by-eight cell.
Now if I remember correctly (and believe me, I do), the last time you saw me was in the Sheboygan County courthouse. You’d been sentenced to fifteen years and were being led out of the courtroom in your shackles and your orange jumpsuit. I remember wondering if you’d been a hunter. Isn’t that funny? “You know,” I thought, “in the normal course of events, he’d very likely be wearing orange right now anyway. Just settling down in a deer blind. I bet he wishes he was wearing an orange hunting jacket instead of that jumpsuit.” And do you know what, Mr. Elliott? That’s what I wished for you as well. And not only because I wanted them back.
Continued…
Categories: Fiction, Short Story.
The Unicorn
Helen the Heartless, true sight to behold.
Helen the Heartless, unicorn of old.
Upon Rainbow Mountain ruling those below,
a bitchy old nag with no heart or no soul.
She pierced other ponies with her horn so sharp,
they cried out in fear at the vicious old harp.
She kicked all their asses from kingdom to come.
When they rose up in masses she even ate some!
Helen the Heartless, true sight to behold.
Helen the Heartless, unicorn of old.
Categories: Poetry.
Calgary Co. – Re: Private Memo
Dear Mr. Swenson,
It it my unfortunate duty to inform you that we’ve decided to reinvent and re-imagine the vision and direction of Calgary Co. The worst part of my job is writing letters such as this.
From its humble beginnings as a small shack at Dunkin’s Mud Pit in Morimont County, West Virginia, to its current home in Morimont County, West Virginia, Calgary Co. has strived to be the leader in vermiculture technology and the advancement of vermiculturists worldwide. For 20 years, Calgary Co.’s main focus has been building upon proven vermiculture techniques to find more efficient and productive techniques of vermiculture. We have strayed from this key goal in recent times. Our once grand road towards vermiculture technique perfection has become chock-full of potholes and detours.
Mr. Calgary has taken responsibility for our change in course. He’s had personal reasons for his recent absences and he’s currently working long hours to steer us in the right direction. But, there was a time he would never have dreamed of:
- Cellulomonas Folia
- Etc.
We have found that there is a weak link in our grand plan. Our recent venture into other ventures has been a drag on the company as a whole. No one person is to blame, these things happen. But it is my unfortunate duty to inform you that we’ll no longer require your services as Director of Cellulomonas Folia studies. The entire unit is being folded and will be reassigned to a new department: Research into Microbiology – Cellulomonas Folia. Please accept my condolences.
We hope this letter finds you well,
Mrs. Jennifer Calgary
Human Resource Manager
Calgary Co.
PS – Please say hello to your lovely wife, Samantha Calgary-Swenson.
Categories: Fiction, Short Story.